phone:  (808) 557-1942


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Ryan Higgins

po box 426

Honokaa, HI 96727

Health, Problems

July 5, 2017

Life is tough.


With a chronic illness it’s much tougher.


I wish that I could put into words what it’s like to wake up every morning and feel like just getting out of bed is the most difficult thing in the world. Then remembering you have to work in an hour. Your head is full of brain fog, you’re so fatigued you don’t even know what day it is.


Facing the world seems like an insurmountable task. Yet there are so many people who face these things (and much worse) day after day. Month after month. Year after year.


Part of life is learning to deal with whatever you personally are facing on the daily. It's just that much tougher when know what you can and want to do with your life  but your health is holding you back


I have developed so much empathy for those who have undiagnosable chronic health symptoms, who've spent years of their time, money, and energy trying to just find out WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM. It's debitating.


I feel deeply for those people.


I am those people.  


Honestly that's just about all I have energy to write right now. This isn't my typical positive blog post I know. But it's also a part of my story. It's a story filled with more questions than answers. Maybe one day I'll find my way back a healthy, vibrant life. 


Sometimes the only thing to do to is to cope, to accept that things are what they are and thank God for being here at all. Honestly I'm still reaching for that kind of acceptance and faith. But for now It is what it is. And through my own obstacles I've seen and met people that are brave enough to keep going and searching and dealing with unsympathetic family members, and it puts my own problems in perspective. 


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