Email: ryanp.higgs@gmail.com

phone:  (808) 557-1942

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Ryan Higgins

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Honokaa, HI 96727

High Hopes

July 20, 2019

I take a long hot shower, then feel kinda guilty

cause I'm trying to get better at conserving electricity

outside the whether has never been so pretty

I watch it from my window...I just don't have the energy

 

I take a drive out to nowhere just to get off of my feelings

should've stopped for gas, cause now my tank is getting close to empty

coasting down the highway I get sad without a reason

It's happy hour at cronies I'll admit a drink is pretty tempting

 

my high hopes hit the ground

my high horse just runs around

and I don't know, I don't know

no I don't know how

I'll make it through the day

but I will

 

staring at a painting of a ship outside the doctors

trying not to worry but my head is all scenerios

I blink in her words, "there's been nothing new, no progress"

later on the way back home my eyes are bloody mary's...I can barely see the road

 

my high hopes hit the ground

my high horse just runs around

and I don't know, I don't know

no I don't know how

I'll make it through the day

but I will

 

the thing about pain is that it makes you see things different

days fade into years as you question your own sanity

and plans go out the window like some horsefly in the kitchen

people asking how I'm doing as if time could bring a remedy

 

As time goes by I find myself reliving 

all the moments where I felt some sense of temporary normalcy

soon there'll be fireworks and happy resolutions

but when the smoke clears there's nothing left but air that's hard to breathe

 

my high hopes hit the ground

my high horse just runs around

and I don't know, I don't know

no I don't know how

I'll ever be ok

but I will

 

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